Disclaimer: I saw this blog title from an exchange student
group on Facebook I’m a part of and I couldn’t think of a better title for this
week – oh, what a week it has been. Admitting my lack of creativity, yes.
I’m happy to report that I have
passed my International Dimensions of Law class final I took last week with a 2
(1 being perfect and 5 failing) so I got a boost of confidence for studying for
my other finals! I had my last Sociology class on Friday and turned in a 6 page
research paper – that felt good! And then Monday I took my German B1-2 class
final along with my State-building practical exam where the latter went a lot
better than the former – hoping I at least passed! Today I have my Austrian
history course oral exam (in German) and then tomorrow I have my EU Monetary
Final and State-building lecture final – which might be hard to focus for since
mom and Jill will be here but I’m hoping I can at least pull it all off! J Prayers are welcomed.
2 down and 3 to go!!
The week and weekend has been pretty full with last dinners,
goodbye parties, end of the semester gatherings and really any excuse to be
outside with friends and a beer in hand when I should be inside studying. The
struggle is real my friends.
I’m writing this on Wednesday for
perhaps it might be my only time before my mom and Jill get here that I’ll have
to write before we jet off on a two week adventure together! They get here
today and I’m completely overwhelmed with excitement to be the tour guide for
two of my favorite people from home! J
I’m such a (travel) nerd – I typed up an itinerary for everyday with little
descriptions of the cities we are going to and sites we should make an effort to
walk past. Since I’m the girl that read 3 books about Belgium and 4 books about
Austria before I came here, complete with their entire national history and
every nook and cranny of their capital city described along with where to get
the respective best waffle and best schnitzel before you leave – I don’t think
it’s a surprise to anyone that I have now taken this step in my obsession with
making a 12 page booklet (it’s a thick one) to give them upon arrival - of
course with a city map.
Yikes, maybe that was a bit over obsessive
seeing that in writing. In my defense, majority of the cities we are traveling
to I have been to before and 2 of them I
have lived in so it will be nice to visit them again – share what I loved about
them and then experience new things at the same time. I think I love traveling
too much?
And I’m also writing
this today because for some reason my body is like, “hey girl, you shouldn’t sleep
past 5am because having anxiety is much more productive.” So, here we are.
I’m leaving Graz this Friday and
not planning on returning until the 22nd to get my 100 pound
suitcase from a friend’s before I jet off home on the 23rd. So, today
I’m running around trying to cancel my Austrian bank account, plan last minute
details of my travels in July, return books to the library, deregister from the
city, donate clothes for some euros/mail the clothes back/give them to friends
staying here, clean my room, cope with not having a bike since I sold it yesterday, get my housing deposit, watch the
world cup knock-out rounds, study for exams (I still have 3!), do my bit of “lasts”
in Graz and also say a whole lot of goodbyes and auf wiedersehns to some pretty
awesome people. This week sucks and I’m not even halfway there or even to the
best parttttt!
Yet, for the majority of the day I
will be thinking about what I wish I could fit into my suitcase and how to make
this blog the least sappy while also conveying that I kind of want to be an
exchange student as my career, is that a thing? Just this mystical creature who
wanders from continent to continent (don’t worry, I would continue blogging
faithful followers) and when someone happens to run into my mom in the grocery
store and ask where that only-child-ballerina-pictured-girl of hers is she
gives a random city where nobody has heard of and nobody is surprised I’m
at. I’d like that to be my thing,
because I kind of like this all and not knowing when I’ll be back somewhere or not
having a routine because life is moving too fast and awesome to have one or knowing
that I might never see this person again so we might as well have a good damn
time together or share this coffee on a perfect day in the city in between
running errands and having a panic attack – I like all that. I honestly don’t
understand why it is only when you are abroad that you get this feeling or this
“holy shit people are awesome and life is crazy and I’m really lucky to be
alive and do this so I’m going to make the most of this” feeling. That’s what I
think I wish I could fit into my suitcase the most. That feeling. I don’t want
it to fade when I get back to central US time zone and among friends and family I haven’t
seen in the past 6 months – I don’t want to lose this. Sometimes I felt like I
lost this feeling from Belgium, but I’m really going to make an effort to not
let this one fade away.
Even the shitty stuff that happens,
I want to take that back with me too. That horrible homesick feeling when I’m
lying in bed and wondering if I’m making the right decision in my life because
I’m at that age where I might not be able to fix things quite as easily or the
feeling when I just feel like a total failure in school for numerous reasons
involving having too much fun or when I really hurt somebody’s feelings and I
have no intention of doing that/or did and I’m a scummy person or when I
realize maybe I haven’t made the most of experiences like I should have in a
certain situation or that horrible “wow, you really stayed out until 6am two
nights in a row on the weekend before you have 5 finals” feeling. I am actually
okay with all these feelings too – because they really aren’t too bad and if
anything they have taught me some things along the way to make me a better
person, to make me nicer or more studious or even to appreciate my time a little
more. I’m going to bring all this home with me.
What else would I fit into my bag? Maybe some cool people and just the whole country in general? It's small! I wish I could bring this awesome
little city with me and the awesome people in it with me to my next chapter in
my life, but I guess that wouldn’t be considerate to their aspirations and
homes they are excited to get back to. Sigh. Well, I wish maybe the occasional
meeting up with everyone once a week on the Uni Graz lawn for spritzers, or
even ordering Chinese food from my favorite restaurant (that I have an online
account with) here once a week, or maybe a night out at the Office Pub for some
tequila shots with cinnamon and oranges (yes, that’s a thing here), or maybe
just one night where I walk home down Zindzindorfgasse when the sun is rising, just one more climb up to Schlossberg at night, or maybe even sitting in on a class with my professor who looks like Santa
Clause, and riding my bike to Hauptplatz to meet a friend for dinner and seeing
my favorite building with the faces built into it. Can I bring those things
back with me and experience them whenever I get this homesick feeling for a place that seems like home after just 6 months? How do I fit all of these
things in my suitcase?
on that note... my thoughts have now fled to....
I GET TO SEE JILL AND MY MOM TODAY!! Julie leaves North
America – plan accordingly everyone.
talk soon :)
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